SMM 023: Overcoming Weaknesses + Using Humor in Motherhood || Cheryl Cardall

 Cheryl Cardall is my guest for episode 23. She has been married to her husband for 22 years and is the mother of 4 boys and 1 girl ranging in age from 8-19. Cheryl dreamed of being a mom since she was a little girl, so she was a little surprised in the beginning by how hard motherhood can be. After 19 years Cheryl has learned to embrace the challenges, hold onto the joys and use humor in motherhood. She is passionate about strengthening homes and encouraging moms through her instagram account @supermamas4real.

Tune into the episode to hear Cheryl’s perspectives on letting go of trying to control her kids and utilizing motherhood as a refining process.

You’ll hear about Cheryl’s “secret weapon” of motherhood.  Hint: it involves Cheryl in a bathing suit going down a waterslide!

We also discuss how she parents each of her children as individuals. Cheryl talks about getting through hard days by sticking to simple, daily habits that fill her up, so she can better serve her family.  In addition, Cheryl shares the things she has learned from parenting a “spirited child” and also gives some practical resources.

Ultimately, Cheryl views her children as being “on loan” from God. She relies on Him on a daily basis to help her know her childrens’ needs as well as how to best love them.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Follow Cheryl:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/supermamas4real/

Cheryl talked about this quote by Marjorie Hinckley: “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

Go here to learn more about the book Cheryl referenced: Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom:

Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

 

SMM 003: What It Means to be a “Good Mom” + Why You Are the Perfect Mom for Your Kids || Becky Squire

“We have our strengths and we have our weaknesses but we need to focus on our strengths and realize that Heavenly Father gave us those strengths to serve our kids because that’s what they needed.”  -Becky Squire

Show Recap

This episode is an interview with Becky Squire. Becky is a writer, wife, and mom to four kids, including a brand new teenager. We talk about her definition of what it means to be a “good mom” and if you’ve ever felt inadequate as a mother because of the choices your kids are making, you’ll want to hear Becky’s take on this.

Becky shares what it means to her as a mother to “prepare more than punish” and how we are our children’s teachers in learning to be adults. We can’t make assumptions that our children already know what to do. We have to be specific in our teaching.

A difficult time for Becky in motherhood occurred when one of her children was hospitalized. Becky talks about that experience and how she got through it with the help of God.

You’ll also hear how Becky teaches spiritual habits to her children and her sort of “fake” but actually “real” way for her children to see her reading scripture! (This will make you chuckle but the principle behind her reasons are so good.)

We also talk about teaching children in the moment, using your spiritual gifts in motherhood and why YOU are the perfect mother for your children.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunes. If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

  • Follow Spiritually Minded Mom:

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom

  • For more inspiration from Becky follow her in the following places:

Blog: beckysquire.com
Instagram: instagram.com/beckysquire
Facebook: facebook.com/beckysquireblog

  • Quote about catching moments of teaching: “Catch the teaching moments.  This can be done anytime during the day – at mealtime, in casual settings, or at special sit-down times together, at the foot of the bed at the end of the day, or during an early morning walk together.  Mothers, you are your children’s best teacher.  Don’t shift this precious responsibility to day-care centers or babysitters.”  -Ezra Taft Benson
  • Becky’s favorite quote about motherhood: “Make time to teach your children the gospel and principles of gospel living when they are young.  It may be that you too will need to “renounce the world” and devote above twenty years of the prime of life in hopes to save the souls of your children.” -Ezra Taft Benson
  • Mother Teresa quote: “If you want to bring happiness to the whole world, go home and love your family.”

 

How To Get Help From a Perfect Parenting Coach

Do you ever feel powerless, worn out or helpless in your parenting?  What if you had the perfect parenting coach on speed dial who was always available, knew your child better than you do, could advise you on the right decision to make every time and never made a mistake?

What if you could have a perfect parenting coach?

Recently, I was scrolling through Instagram and read a post by a popular blogger who occasionally posts about her struggles as a mother. She was sharing she had tried everything she could think of to help her struggling child but nothing was working.

I could totally relate.

A few days before I had been receiving disheartening text messages from a discouraged child during the day. Things weren’t going well at school. I desperately wanted to offer support and comfort but wasn’t sure what I should type back.

Should I use “tough love” and tell my child to buck up? Should I empathize or commiserate? Should I simply say, “We’ll talk when you get home.” I was at a complete loss.

The mother on Instagram was at a loss, too. We were both in need of a little help, advice and perhaps some comforting of our own from a perfect parenting coach.

We Don’t Have to Do it Alone

The blogger decided to pray about how to help her child, and God gave her an answer she didn’t expect. In fact, the answer was completely opposite of what she thought was right for her child.

She trusted God and made a decision to follow the answer He gave her. Since following God’s advice her child had completely turned things around and is now thriving.

I made a comment on the blogger’s Instagram post and simply said,

“I love how God is our partner in parenting. We don’t have to do it alone.”

Who is the “Perfect Parenting Coach?”

God is our perfect parenting coach. He has entrusted us to care for, teach and love our children (who happen to be His children too).  He truly wants to help us be good parents and He won’t abandon us in our important work of parenting.

I love how one mother, who expressed how she frequently feels inadequate, summed up her relationship with God.

Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know my motherhood is an eternal partnership with Him.

A Partner with God

The day when I wanted to mother my child in the best way possible but the right words to text seemed out of reach, I silently prayed for help. “Heavenly Father, help me know what to text back.”

Later, I looked back at the words I had typed out hopefully on my smartphone to my child who needed me, and I was surprised by what I had written. What came out on my end was not what I would typically say.

In a moment of motherhood where I felt lost, I wasn’t alone. God was on speed dial through prayer. He had given me the words I needed to say. I didn’t know exactly what my child needed, but God did.

I have seen God partner with me in my mothering in many different ways.

Sometimes the help comes through prayer, as it did when I prayed to know what to text.

Other times I have been guided in my parenting by reading the scriptures or an inspirational book.

He has walked incredible mentors into my path. Like the time I was stressed out about potty training and another mom who had “been there, done that” put her arm around me and assured me my 3-year-old would know how to use the bathroom before he left for college!

God has been there at the exact moment and in the perfect way I needed him in my parenting journey.

He has inspired me, guided me and sometimes corrected me but relying on his wisdom has made all the difference for me and for my children.

Motherhood is a divine role.

As a mother, you have access to God who is always available, knows your child better than you do, can advise you on the right decision to make every time and who never makes a mistake–the perfect parenting coach.

When have you felt and seen God as your partner in motherhood?

How God Taught Me at a Wrestling Match to be a Better Mother

Recently, I was at a wrestling tournament to watch my 14-year-old son. Wrestling tournaments usually start early in the morning and take up most of the day. On this day, I had left my other three children at home, and I was sitting in the gymnasium thinking of my to-do list that was a mile long. I love wrestling, and I love being with my son, but this day, the commitment to a long day in the gym seemed a little too much.

Motherhood Low

After a lot of waiting, my son finally wrestled his first match and got pinned in only 15 seconds. I thought he hadn’t given his all and was a little annoyed he lost because if he lost the next match he was out of the tournament, we would be heading home and all of the time and effort I had put into getting him there would be a waste.

After his match, he came and found me in the stands as he always does. I told him he didn’t do his best and to get out there and try harder. It wasn’t my finest mom moment. He went to rejoin his team, and I felt ashamed I hadn’t been more positive. I had let my frustration get the best of me and I felt bad.

Scripture Changed My Perspective

The gym was full of people. There were five wrestling matches going on at once, parents were cheering, wrestlers were warming up and the music was blaring. Since I knew I had a long wait until my son’s next match, I reached into my bag and pulled out my Kindle. I had planned to read a novel I was in the middle of, but instead, I clicked on the button to read the Book of Mormon. I started reading in the place I had left off at the day before. Despite the chaos around me, I got completely engrossed in the verses.

I read about a great leader named Captain Moroni. He was a leader everyone wanted to follow. He had integrity and even though he was fighting a war, his motives were pure. This is how the verses I read described Captain Moroni:

And Moroni was a strong and a mighty man; he was a man of a perfect understanding; yea, a man that did not delight in bloodshed; a man whose soul did joy in the liberty and the freedom of his country, and his brethren from bondage and slavery;

Yea, a man whose heart did swell with thanksgiving to his God, for the many privileges and blessings which he bestowed upon his people; a man who did labor exceedingly for the welfare and safety of his people.

Yea, and he was a man who was firm in the faith of Christ, and he had sworn with an oath to defend his people, his rights, and his country, and his religion, even to the loss of his blood.

Yea, verily, verily I say unto you, if all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men.

(Alma 48:11-13,17)

A Softened Heart

I finished the chapter, looked up from my Kindle and instantly saw my son in the far corner of the gym warming up for his next match. What I read about Captain Moroni changed my perspective on what I was doing that day. My heart was softened. I was being taught what was truly important for me to show my son.

I knew it didn’t matter if he won or lost his next wrestling match. I didn’t need to pray for that. I needed to pray he would be like Captain Moroni–someone the Lord could depend on no matter what. Suddenly, I wanted my son to be “strong and mighty” not so he could beat his wrestling opponent, but so he could be who God wanted him to be.

Parenting Lesson

My son lost his second match, which meant he was eliminated from the tournament. When he came to me in the stands this time, my heart was full of love for him. I told him I knew he had done his best and I was proud of him.

We headed home, and the day was not a waste because I learned an important lesson about parenting in God’s way and not the world’s way. I had learned what God wanted me to teach my son. His value is not based on his worldly accomplishments. He isn’t defined by winning a wrestling match. He has value simply because he is a child of God.

How have you learned to parent in God’s ways? Share your thoughts in the comments.