SMM 063: How to Embrace Agency + Increase Love as a Mother || Shelley Swapp

Welcome to the final episode of season 2. I am taking a short break from the podcast and will be back in September with more faith-filled interviews for you.

In episode 63, my guest is Shelley Swapp. Shelley shares what she hopes her children will remember about her as a mom.

Motherhood Challenges

She also gives insights into the challenges her family has faced in the past few years. As a mother, she has watched her children deal with moving, brain injury, physical special needs, mental health challenges and faith crisis.

No Checklist to Perfect Kids

Shelley shares how she always believed there was a “checklist” of things to do as a mom. If she could just check all of the things on the list off, like family home evening, scripture study, attending church and the temple, etc., all of our children would turn out exactly as she planned. But Shelley shares how she has learned that’s not what the Gospel is about. She gives her insights on agency, something we fought valiantly for before we came to earth.

Instead of a “checklist,” Shelley discusses how “The true test of motherhood is who I become and the true test of fatherhood is who my husband becomes and not who my children become.”

She openly admits she and her husband weren’t perfect parents but can honestly say they have always loved their children.

Preserving Relationships

Shelley shares how she has persevered her relationship with her children, especially as some have chosen to leave the church. She shares how realizing our Heavenly Parents don’t sit in heaven wringing their hands has helped her to avoid worrying as well. She knows her children are on their own journey and it’s not about her.

The Power of Scripture

Both the Book of Mormon and the Bible have been huge helps to Shelley in her life as a mother. She describes the Book of Mormon as an entire book about families who were fighting valiantly to keep their children in the Gospel. She attributes the stories of Jesus found in the Bible to helping her get to a place where she can love and accept her children where they are.

Her Son’s Perspective

In preparation for the interview, Shelley spoke with her son who has recently experienced a faith crisis. She shares the advice he would gives to family members who are struggling to understand why someone would leave.

Why Heaven is Close

Ultimately, Shelley shares her testimony that heaven is so close. We can recognize tender mercies and angels here on earth. She acknowledges God’s hand in her life and knows He is helping her and her children.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Light the Fight Podcast with Heidi Swapp and David Kozlowski.

Talk by Elder Robert D. Hales, With all the Feeling of a Tender Parent, April 2004 General Conference

Talk by President Henry B. Eyring, A Home Where the Spirit of the Lord Dwells, April 2019 General Conference

This is the quote by President Eyring Shelley referenced in the interview from the talk above.

“Some have tried with full heart for that blessing, yet it has not been granted. My promise to you is one that a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once made to me. I had said to him that because of choices some in our extended family had made, I doubted that we could be together in the world to come. He said, as well as I can remember, ‘You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.'”

Listen to Shelley’s daughter share her story on episode 6 of the podcast, Still Tripin’

Read more about Shelley’s motherhood journey in an article she wrote on the Awaiting Rainbows website.

Listen to a previous episode with similar stories: Episode 62, How to Show Unconditional Love When Loved Ones Don’t Share Your Faith

Follow Shelley

Instagram: @shelleyswapp
Facebook: shelleyswappsvintageherbals
Website: shelleyswapp.com

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

SMM 062: How to Show Unconditional Love When Loved Ones Don’t Share Your Faith

Episode 62 shares the perspectives of 6 different people who have experience with a loved one who doesn’t share their faith. I am so grateful for each of these people who called in to share their thoughts and perspectives on a topic that isn’t always easy to talk about.

In addition to hearing from members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who have had families members who have struggled with their faith, you will also hear the perspective of someone who left the church. She shares her advice for loving unconditionally and preserving the relationship no matter what someone else believes.

All the people who called in shared the overarching message that unconditional love, love like the Savior shared, is the most important thing we can give.

If you are someone who struggles with similar situations I hope you this episode will show you that you are not alone. I also hope you will listen to each of these perspectives and gain what you need from their words.

I am so grateful to the women who called in and were willing to be featured on this episode. Sharing our stories binds us together. I learned so much from each of them.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Read or listen to the entire talk by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf from October 2013 General Conference, Come, Join with Us.

Full quote by Gretchen Rubin: “It’s a Secret of Adulthood: I can’t make people change, but when I change, others may change; and when others change, I may change.”

John 11 – Story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

SMM 056: How to See God in the Small Moments of Life ||Heidi Tucker

My guest in episode 56 is Heidi Tucker. Heidi is a wife, a mom to four adult children and a grandma to 9 grandchildren. She is the author of two books, Finding Hope in the Journey and Servie’s Song. Heidi is known as a great storyteller who believes every story not only teaches a gospel principle but can make you feel it.

In the interview Heidi shares how she knew through a dream she needed to write a book even though she was going through one of the lowest times of her life. We discussed how you don’t have to be in an ideal time in your life to do His work. God can use you if you take a step and act.

She shares how God answered a prayer through a total stranger she encountered on a hike who said just three words to her, “Go get ’em.”

As a mom who has raised her children, Heidi discussed several perspectives and insights she has gained in motherhood. She talked why rescuing children at every turn erases the child’s growth, why lectures aren’t effective and how to pick your battles.

Heidi also shared her perspective on how to deal with children who have struggles and questions about faith and God. She speaks to what she has personally done and learned in these situations and gives practical advice to other mothers struggling with children choosing a different path.

At the end, Heidi shares how a swarm of butterflies taught her God is aware of her. Heidi has seen and felt Him as her partner as she has acted on the quiet thoughts He has given her.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Follow Heidi

Instagram: @heidi_tucker_
Facebook: Heidi Tucker
Website: thepickledsunflower.com

Heidi and I will both be speaking at the Moms Who Stick Together Conference coming up on August 16th and 17th in Mesa, Arizona. You can use the code “StickTogether” for $20 off your ticket. I would love to meet you there and I know Heidi would too!

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes


SMM 053: How to Use Agency + Love to Point Children to the Savior || Becky Proudfit

Today I’m welcoming Becky Proudfit to the podcast for episode 53. You may know her as one half of Becky squared where she cohosts the podcast Cultivate a Good Life with Becky Higgins. She is also a former Disney Princess, a wife and a mom to four, a lover of travel and a cancer survivor.

In this episode you will hear Becky remind moms that motherhood is “not about you.” She shares why she thinks motherhood is not about her but about loving her children and giving them agency.

Becky and I discuss not tying spiritual things to merely being obedient to parents. Rather, Becky believes in teaching children to obey out of love for Heavenly Father and the Savior.

We also talk about teaching children spiritual self-sufficiency so they can rely on the Savior as a perfect friend.

Becky frequently uses opposites, also a pattern found in the scriptures, to teach her children. She doesn’t shy away from talking about Satan and his counterfeits. She views times when Satan is working on you as evidence that you are doing something right.

Becky gives advice to moms whose children have used their agency to choose different paths. She also shares an easy and practical way any mom can know how God feels about her and recognize how He is showing up in her life.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

This is the quote by President Russell M. Nelson Becky referenced about spiritual survival. “In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost.”

Go HERE to read Elder Uctdorf’s talk, A Matter of a Few Degrees

Follow Becky

Instagram: @beckyproudfit
Podcast: Cultivate a Good Life

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes


SMM 052: How to Really Define Success in Motherhood||Chantel Allen

My guest for episode 52 is Chantel Allen. Chantel is a mom, a wife and also a certified life coach. She is passionate about offering encouragement, to others through her coaching and podcast, Find Your Beautiful You. Through her training and personal experiences, Chantel has learned the true definition of success in motherhood.

Listen to hear Chantel’s insights on how you can benefit from changing your thoughts. She gives a great exercise you can use to figure out what is going on inside your brain.

Chantel talks about the lessons she learned from experiencing unexplained seizures as well as having a son dealing with anxiety. Her story illustrates so well how God is aware of us. Chantel’s experiences show how God weaves our experiences together for our good.

Finally, you’ll hear how to really define success in motherhood. Guess what? Success has nothing to do with your kids. Chantel shares how she has learned to show up in motherhood as her best self as well as not tie her worth to her kids’ behavior.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Find out more about Jody Moore.

Get a free thought download worksheet to help you do a thought download, and then answer questions on the thought download to help you evaluate your thoughts. 

Hear Chantel talk more about thought downloads and the “Marie Kondo Effect” on episode 11 of her podcast, Find Your Beautiful You.

Here more Spiritually Minded Mom episodes that discuss thoughts.

Episode 14: How to How to Recognize God in Simple Ways + Battle Loneliness and Negative Thoughts || Michelle Garfield

Episode 37: How to Create Thoughts to Love Your Children Better || Lisa Funk

Episode 47: Finding Beauty in the Hard of Motherhood || Melinda Peterson

Follow Chantel

Instagram: instagram.com/chantel_findyourbeautifulyou
Podcast: Find Your Beautiful You
Website: findyourbeautifulyou.com

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes