SMM 027: Letting Children Have Agency + Building Lasting Family Traditions || Alisse Coil

A few months ago I posted on Instagram asking for ideas on keeping extended families close. Since I’m entering a new phase of motherhood, I wanted to know how I can keep my family close as children start leaving home. So many people responded. I gathered amazing ideas. One of the people who responded was my friend, Alisse Coil. She had great family traditions to share that resonated with many. I invited her on the podcast to talk about how she established her family traditions.

Show Recap

Lean Into Strengths

Alisse is the mother of 5 and had her first four children in a five-year period. Her four oldest children are now grown and she also has 3 grandchildren. Alisse started her motherhood journey thinking she would be “supermom” but quickly learned that doing everything perfectly wasn’t going to work.

Over time, Alisse learned to lean into her own strengths as a mother and not focus on what she wasn’t good at. She said, “I am the whole package, just as me.”

Let Children Have Agency

We had a great discussion about how Alisse learned to let go of control. She learned to let her children use their own agency. She and her husband established “silver bullets” like honesty, open communication, modesty and being kind that they weren’t going to budge on. They left pretty much everything else up to their children to decide for themselves with guidance.

Alisse has seen that giving children the opportunity to use their agency helps build a lasting parent-child relationship. She also believes it’s a big way a mother can show her child love.

Build Lasting Family Traditions

Many of the traditions her family now values started when her kids were very young. They didn’t have much money but they always found ways to serve together. They started a Christmas tradition 20 years ago of hanging a stocking for Jesus at the beginning of December. Family members were invited to place slips of paper in the stocking with kindnesses they had seen during the season written down.  On Christmas Eve they read what everyone has written. This simple tradition has endured for over 20 years and is now being passed on to Alisse’s 3 grandchildren.

You’ll want to listen to the end to hear what Alisse feels we can learn as mothers from Noah’s wife. She said, “For God to truly be my partner, I have to trust in His process.”

To end, Alisse shared this powerful quote: “The power of prayer resides in listening to the Spirit and accepting the words God puts into one’s mind and into one’s mouth. Prayer is more about listening and feeling then it is about speaking and asking.” (Matriarchs of the Messiah by Joann Skousen)

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Follow Alisse:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/alissecoil_essentialliving/

Go here to see the Instagram post where Alisse and many others shared their ideas about keeping extended families close.

Alisse shared this quote during the podcast: “God places a Goliath in our life so we can find our own David.”

To read more about the story of Noah and his wife go to the Bible to Genesis chapters 6, 7, 8 and 9.

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom:

Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

SMM 026: Parenting a Strong Willed Child + Showing Children Their Worth || Lynnette Sheppard

I’m excited to share with you my interview with my Instagram turned real-life friend, Lynnette Sheppard.  She is mostly parenting young adults and teenagers these days, and she has some real life, in the trenches experience parenting a strong willed child. She’s on the other side and has learned to rely on God. Her son has gone from a strong willed 6 year old who spit in her face to a capable, independent 20 year old who is thriving in life.

Show Recap

A key component of the guidance Lynnette felt from God in raising her strong willed son was learning how God viewed her son, how she needed to view him and ultimately, how she could help him see his own worth. She shares how this perspective changed everything for her and her son.

Lynnette and her husband view their children as “adults in training.”  She gives a really practical example of a kid throwing a tantrum for ice cream to illustrate how this long-term perspective guides her in the day-to-day decisions she makes as a mother.

Lynnette believes motherhood is “a marathon and not a sprint.” She gives advice to young mothers to view the hard, mundane years of motherhood with young children as laying a foundation. You won’t see the fruit of your labors until many years down the road, but Lynnette offers hope that all of the effort is worth it.

We also talked about doing what feels right to you in motherhood. “Do what feels right to you, regardless of what everybody else is doing.”

Over her 20+ years of motherhood, Lynnette has seen God at work in her life. She knows Heavenly Father is in the details of our lives. Lynette knows He cares about everything, even the simple things we face.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Follow Lynnette:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/lynnette_simplyforreal/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/simplyforreal/
Website: simplyforreal.com

Sign up for Lynnette’s free email course on raising independent kids by going here.

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom:

Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

SMM 023: Overcoming Weaknesses + Using Humor in Motherhood || Cheryl Cardall

 Cheryl Cardall is my guest for episode 23. She has been married to her husband for 22 years and is the mother of 4 boys and 1 girl ranging in age from 8-19. Cheryl dreamed of being a mom since she was a little girl, so she was a little surprised in the beginning by how hard motherhood can be. After 19 years Cheryl has learned to embrace the challenges, hold onto the joys and use humor in motherhood. She is passionate about strengthening homes and encouraging moms through her instagram account @supermamas4real.

Tune into the episode to hear Cheryl’s perspectives on letting go of trying to control her kids and utilizing motherhood as a refining process.

You’ll hear about Cheryl’s “secret weapon” of motherhood.  Hint: it involves Cheryl in a bathing suit going down a waterslide!

We also discuss how she parents each of her children as individuals. Cheryl talks about getting through hard days by sticking to simple, daily habits that fill her up, so she can better serve her family.  In addition, Cheryl shares the things she has learned from parenting a “spirited child” and also gives some practical resources.

Ultimately, Cheryl views her children as being “on loan” from God. She relies on Him on a daily basis to help her know her childrens’ needs as well as how to best love them.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Follow Cheryl:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/supermamas4real/

Cheryl talked about this quote by Marjorie Hinckley: “The only way to get through life is to laugh your way through it. You either have to laugh or cry. I prefer to laugh. Crying gives me a headache.”

Go here to learn more about the book Cheryl referenced: Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom:

Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

 

SMM 022: Accepting God’s Plan + Overcoming Feeling Unworthy Before God || Reagan Ogle

Episode 22 of The Spiritually Minded Mom podcast is my interview with Reagan Ogle. I came across Reagan’s podcast, The Luckiest Mom, when I was doing research to start my podcast.  Reagan knows about accepting God’s plan for her life. She believes one of the greatest challenges of motherhood is overcoming feeling unworthy before God because it keeps mothers from connecting with Him.  She is relatable, a full of light and a huge advocate for motherhood. I know you are going to love the things she shares in this interview.

In the interview we dive in and talk about what a perfect mom day would look like for Reagan as well as how she gets through when the hard days hit.

Reagan has a unique way of viewing her children as “scientists.” We discuss what this means to her and how it affects the way she interacts with her children.

When Reagan was young, she had her life all planned out, but God had plans that were different from hers. She shares how she learned to accept God’s plan by saying, “My plan would have been harder in different ways but God’s plan prepared me for what I need to be today.”

One of my favorite parts of this interview was when Reagan and I discussed guilt and feeling unworthy before God. Reagan has some great advice for overcoming both.

Finally, we discuss how we can connect with each other, as women, and how we can connect with God by being vulnerable and sharing our lives and our stories.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Follow Reagan:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/okreag/
Website: TheLuckiestMom.com

I mentioned in the episode that I met Reagan at the SALT Retreat. You can learn more about SALT by going here and listen to episode 15 of the podcast to hear my interview with SALT Retreat founder, Elise Curtis.

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom:

Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

SMM 021: Chasing Your Dreams + Turning to God in Post-Partum Depression || Amanda Anderson

My guest for episode 21 is Amanda Anderson. Amanda is an artist and has a business, Sketched and Sealed, painting personalized artwork. She is a wife and mom to three children ages 6, 3 and 10 months. She believes in chasing your dreams and is currently pursuing a degree in architecture. Amanda recently shared on her Instagram account about the extreme post-partum depression she experienced after her second child.  She has a beautiful story about how an involuntary admission to a mental hospital helped her turn to God as well as reach out to those around her who were also struggling. God helped her come out of the darkness she felt, and I am excited to share part of her motherhood story on the podcast.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunes, Google Play, Stitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Follow Amanda:

Instagram: www.instagram.com/sketchedandsealed/
Website: www.etsy.com/shop/SketchedandSealed

Amanda mentioned the Personal Progress program as something that helped her during her stay in a mental health hospital. Personal Progress is an achievement program for young women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Go here to learn more.

We mentioned this quote by Thomas S. Monson, ““The present is here. Live in it.” You can read more by going here.

Amanda highly recommends the book The Mother in Me by Kathryn Soper as a resource for all moms as it helped her greatly during her battle with post-partum depression.

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom:

Instagram: Instagram.com/spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: facebook.com/spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes