SMM 096: Keeping Your Faith in an Unexpected Motherhood Journey || Robyn Shelton

When Robyn Shelton was young, she imagined a motherhood journey like her own mother’s, filled with lots of kids and easy pregnancies. But from the very beginning, Robyn’s motherhood was nothing like she planned. Robyn and her husband lost their first son a few days after his birth and went on to have three more children. When her own children were all under the age of four, the Sheltons felt prompted to take in a niece and nephew as well. Robyn shares how her unexpected motherhood journey has helped her learn to develop faith in God and her Savior. She shares how following promptings doesn’t mean the path will be easy but that you can still find happiness.

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Related Episodes

SMM 019: Connection Through Trials + The Power of Vulnerability to Bring Women Together || Danelle Beckstrand

SMM 038: Faith and Trust in God’s Plan for Motherhood || Ashley Williams

SMM 072: Healing + Hope after the Death of a Child|| Erica Kiefer

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Darla: [00:01:04] Welcome to the Spiritually minded Mom podcast. This is Darla and I am so happy to be here today, as always. I have a wonderful guest to share with you today. Her name is Robyn Shelton, and she is a mom who tries her best every day to love, teach and learn from her five children that are here on earth and her angel baby in heaven.

Two of her children are actually her niece and nephew that she and her husband had permanent legal guardianship of. So, we’re going to dive into all of that in just a minute, but Robyn, thank you so much for being here and coming on the podcast today. 

Robyn: [00:01:40] Yeah. Thanks for having me. I’m excited to be here and a little nervous. It’s my first time doing a podcast, but I’m excited to be here and share my story.

Darla: [00:01:48] Well, I am thrilled that I get to be the, your first one because I’m sure this won’t be your last. So, I’m really excited to dive in. You have a really remarkable story and so many lessons that I, that I know you’ve learned that can help other people. So, I’m really excited to talk to you about that.

So, one of the things that you told me beforehand was that you feel like motherhood is a journey. And that’s a message that you’d like to share about motherhood. And I’m sure that like all of us, you had some expectations about how that journey would be, but for you, it hasn’t quite gone as expected.

And for all of us, I’m sure we all have twists and turns, but right off the bat for you, you had your first son and he passed away after only three days. 

So, what can you tell us about that experience and about Collin? 

Robyn: [00:02:32] Yeah. So, like you mentioned, I mean, I. In my mind. I was that little girl that just loved playing with dolls was always like anytime I was with my friends, I always wanted to play house.

I just love the idea of being a mom and my, I had a, and have a wonderful mom who has eight kids. I come from a big family and I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mom. And in my mind, I was going to be a mom, just like my mom and I was going to have a big family, and everything was going to go smooth. And I know my mom worked really hard and I know it wasn’t perfect for her, but in my mind, it seemed perfect and it seemed easy. And it seemed like all the kids, like she had all these kids that were great and no problems and her pregnancies and everything went super well. And so, in my mind, that’s just what I kind of expected.

And honestly felt like I deserved because I thought, you know, I’ve lived my life righteously. And I’ve done what the Lord has asked of me, you know, up until this point. And I felt like this is what motherhood was. And so, I was excited. My husband and I got married young.  I was really young, and I was excited to start a family and we got pregnant right away.

I mean we waited for a little bit, but once we’ve decided we wanted to get pregnant when I was finishing up school, we got pregnant right away and I was like, perfect. You know, this is what my mom did. She always got pregnant super quick and I just felt like, you know, things were going great and I wasn’t too sick or anything during my pregnancy. And, all of my appointments have gone super well up until I was at my 23-week ultrasound, which was a little later than the normal 20-week ultrasound, but my husband had been doing an internship over the summer in California. So, we went in for the ultrasound and I still remember it was his birthday and everything was going to be perfect.

I had it all planned out. We were going to find out the gender and then we were going to have to celebrate and things just started going downhill at the ultrasound. They knew right away that I didn’t have enough amniotic fluid. Then there were complications and I ended up being admitted to the hospital on bedrest I’m at 24 weeks with the intent to be there until I had my son and my plan, you know, in my mind, I was ready to be there for a couple months and then just have him healthy and take him home and everything was going to go well.

I mean, I was nervous and stressed, but I just felt like, you know, that God was going to take care of me and take care of my baby because that’s what I had planned. And that’s what I felt like- I deserved. And, then it was only, I was only in the hospital for five days before they did an emergency C-section. They could tell his heart rate was going down and things were just not looking good.

And so, I had an emergency C-section with him, and he was really small. Later they found out I had blood clots in my placenta, and they found I had a blood clotting disorder that I didn’t realize. And so, he, he was really small. He was growth restricted even for 25 weeks. And even with that, we still felt like, you know, the doctors told us the odds and told us that his chances of survival were slim at this 25 weeks. And, you know, but even hearing that I just, I had faith still. And I thought like, even though the chances are slim. Like we’re going to pray really hard and you know, everything is going to work out for him because that’s what we want. And, you know, I know that Heavenly Father wants to be happy and this is what’s going to make me happy.

And so, you know, we really prayed hard and he did really well the first day or two. They say that it’s the honeymoon phase. He did really well in the beginning. And then it was that third day that, he just, his body was retaining too much fluid. And the doctors recommended after his brain had been without oxygen for too long, with all the fluid that, that we take him off life support.

And it was such a hard e xperience to go through for my husband and I. We, you know, we prayed, and I wanted so badly to pray and feel like, and feel the answer that “No, don’t take himoff. Like, everything’s going to be fine. He’s going to recover. And like, he’s going to be totally fine.” But as we prayed, we just felt this overwhelming peace and comfort.

That, you know, it was his time to go that we got to have these three short days of him on earth and it was his time to go back to heaven. And it was a hard decision to make, and it was hard to let him go, but we felt peace, and we felt unified in our answer and in our peace that we felt, and even though we felt that peace, it was such a blessing to fill that peace in that moment.

It was still sad, and it was still hard for us. And, you know, the months that followed were hard and sad. I mean I had so many, so many tears, so many emotions, but at the same time, I felt, Heavenly Father’s peace and guidance in my life. And I felt like I had never up until that point in my life felt like I needed the atonement and needed Jesus Christ more than I did in that time.

And I felt like Jesus Christ was there for me. And I felt like he was lifting my burdens. And I mean, it was still hard, and it was still sad. I still had a lot of sad times.  I had one time in particular where it was a couple months after he had passed and it was around his due date and I was at church and there was a baby blessing of someone in our ward, who I was pregnant around the, you know, we were having babies at the same time and they were blessing their baby.

And I’m normally only emotional in private and like at home with my husband, but I just I couldn’t even sit through the blessing. I just started bawling in the middle of church and I just ran out. Cause I didn’t want to be there and have everyone see me cry. And so, I just ran out and ran home and we actually lived right near my parents at the time.

And my mom saw me leave the church building and I just went home and went into the room that was supposed to be the nursery for my son. And I just, I just laid on the floor and just sobbed because I just, I knew that this was Heavenly Father’s plan, but it wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to be holding my son.

I wanted to be blessing my son and not having this, this just overwhelming feeling of loss, but as I sat there and cried, and my mom came in the door and she came up the stairs and she held me and  rocked me and just, you know, told me that she knew that I would be happy again.

And she knew I was going to have children. And she knew that Heavenly Father wanted me to be happy and she knew I would be happy. And I just, in those moments, like I, I knew that that was true. And I knew that God had a plan for, for my motherhood journey. And I knew that his plan would bring me happiness.

You know, even in that moment when I didn’t feel happy, I knew that I would, I would be happy. And now it’s been almost 10 years since he was born. And I mean, we think about him all the time and we go visit his grave and my other kids, particularly my son that was born right after him, he talks about him. And if ever I mentioned that we have, you know, this many kids, and I, I don’t count him. He’s always like, “Oh Mom, but don’t forget Colin.” And he’s always, you know, he feels that connection to him and we, we, you know, we visit his grave and we think about him, but I can honestly say that I am, I am happy and I have been blessed with other children and even though we are so grateful and we feel like he’s a part of our family and we know that he’s always going to be a part of our family, I, can say, you know,  time helps heal the wounds and Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ have helped heal  that feeling of loss. 

Darla: [00:10:08] The word that I kept thinking of when you were telling that story was faith.

You exercised so much faith through every step of it. And I’m sure that when you tell the story in five minutes and looking back that it’s easy to see that faith, but  were there moments where you felt alone and you felt like, am I ever going to be happy again? How did you keep that faith going in those kinds of moments? 

Robyn: [00:10:34] Yeah, I mean, I definitely had moments like that. I mean, I mentioned that time when I just went in, you know, after that baby blessing. And I think when I had those moments is when I felt Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ the most. You know, it was the times that I was just falling desperately. Like, I am not happy. This is so hard. I don’t feel like, you know, I don’t feel happy. How am I going to be happy again? You know, it’s in those moments when I would cry out to Heavenly Father that I  felt peace and comfort from him and  it would be tiny things like my mom coming in to the room, even though in that moment, I felt like I just want to be alone crying because I don’t want other people to see.  I’ve always been kind of a, you know, like to be alone. I felt like in those times when Heavenly Father sent like my mom or my husband. I feel like He’s always been good at communicating and good at talking about our feelings and it’s been a big strength of his and it’s, I think not as much of a strength of mine. And so in the moments where I felt that deep despair and just felt like this is too much and too hard, and I just don’t feel like I’m going to be happy again, you know, it’s those times that he would sense that to talk about it and  to talk about our  hopes for the future and our knowledge that we’ll be with Collin again. And he seemed to always know the right thing to say. And I think that he was guided by Heavenly Father. 

Darla: [00:12:04] I really love that you can recognize that in those lowest moments was where God was showing up and that He was there, and I’m sure that it was difficult, but, I really do think it’s beautiful the way that you can express the faith that you had. And you’re giving hope to someone who is going through something similar that there’s better days ahead. 

Robyn: [00:12:26] Yeah. 

 Darla: [00:12:26] I really love hearing that. So, thank you for sharing that. Someone could look at your story and say, “Wow, she’s been through a lot.” And, you went on and you had three more children and then you got thrown another curve ball that was kind of big. So, tell me about what happened when you took in your niece and nephew. 

Robyn: [00:12:43] So we received permanent legal guardianship of them just about two years ago. So they’ve been with us for, for that long.

And, it was a situation. It’s my husband’s brother, his kids. And, it was a situation where. My husband’s brother has always struggled with serious health issues. Some mental health issues and, and his wife at the time also struggled with, with similar issues.

And, they had a beautiful baby girl, my niece, Emma, who always from the get-go, I felt a draw to and a connection to. I just felt a desire to help her. And you know, when we we’ve lived out of state at time. So, when we did live in Utah, when she was little, we would, we would help, and we would have them over and we would try to help when we could. Because they love their kids, my brother in law and his now ex-wife. They do love their kids so much, but they just, don’t have the capability really to care for them. And so, we would help and they managed okay with just when they just had their daughter. And then they had their son who was born with some serious medical complications and some struggles that they weren’t really sure, what they were, but he was on oxygen and he was in the hospital a lot his first year of life.

And I think the stress with that and trying to also take care of their daughter, things just start to go downhill for them. And, anyways, they ended up divorced and my, my brother-in-law received full custody of the kids, but with his, with his, complications, he really wasn’t able to care for them.

And so, you know, care for them alone. So, he moved in with my, with my inlaws so they could help.  We actually lived with my inlaws that summer, but we were living in Philadelphia. My husband was in a graduate program and we were just in Utah for the summer while he was working in an internship.

And we lived with my inlaws and we, you know, we’d help a lot. I’d help a lot with my niece and nephew then. And, we, you know, we had times when we thought and talked to my, my inlaws about. You know, maybe we need to take these kids, you know, and they were just like, Oh, we would, I, I was actually pregnant at the time with our third.

And they were like, “Oh, we could never, that would be too much for you to handle. Like, we could never ask you to do that.” And you know, so we went back to Philadelphia. We had another year there in the graduate program and we just felt so strongly that we needed to be back in Utah so that we could help with my, with my husband’s family and the situations that they had.

 I should mention my husband has a handicapped brother that lives at home and he has some extended family as well that are handicapped that my inlaws help take care of. 

Darla: [00:15:30] So your inlaws have a lot on their, their plate. 

Robyn: [00:15:33] Yeah. They have their plate very full and my inlaws are amazing.

And my mother-in-law is just an angel and she cares for so many, so many people. And so, you know, they were caring for and helping my, my brother in law care for, his two children. And, we just felt like we needed to be back in Utah so we could help. And the plan was just to help from a distance. You know, we lived about 20 minutes away and. And our plan was just to help and, you know, watch them every once a week and, and help when we could. But we realized over that first year that it wasn’t enough, and we could see that our niece and nephew needed more, and they needed more stability. And, you know, we just, we felt that, but I honestly, we pushed against it for a while because we had our hands full. I mean, we had at the time, as we were like, thinking about all this, I think our oldest was four. And then our, we had a four-year-old, a two-year-old and a one-year-old or not even one year old, just a, you know, a baby that wasn’t even one yet. We were like, we just felt this, this need to help more.

And we felt such a love for our niece and nephew. And we felt like they deserved to have some stability and stuff. We, we felt like, you know, we could help them, but I just pushed against it for a while, honestly, because I thought, oh, well I’ll just help from a distance. Like, let’s think of all these other things we can do.

And instead of, you know, before we have them come live with us and we just felt it stronger and stronger as time went on. And we, we had a few different experiences. I don’t know if you want me to speak to those now, but we had a few different experiences where we just felt like we couldn’t deny it.

Darla: [00:17:23] Well, I’m really curious, like what really made you take the leap? Like, you know, you have a heart for these kids, and you feel for your in-laws who are just have so much caring for people. What made you kind of turn that corner and say, “We’re going to take these kids in.” Even though you’ve got three kids that are young, how were you being prompted to do that? 

Robyn: [00:17:42] The one that stands out the most in my mind, was, I mean, it’s just simple, but there was someone actually in our neighborhood who had four kids of her own and then she had four of her brother’s kids that they had guardianship of  and they didn’t know if it was going to be permanent or temporary. It ended up being temporary. They had them for two years, but they had eight kids they were raising, and I would see her and see them and just, you know, like, wow, how are they doing that? You know? And I went over once to visit with her and not even with the intent to visit about this necessarily. And I didn’t have in my mind that I was going over to see if I should get my niece and nephew to come and live with us, but I just wanted to go to visit with her. And while I was there, I just got this strong, strong impression that we needed to have Emma and James come and live with us.

And I remember going home and just feeling like, you know, we needed to make this happen. And we didn’t know at the time if it even could happen. Cause we needed to get permission from my brother in law and his ex-wife in order to get them, and we just didn’t think that they would, they would want that.

We didn’t know, you know, but, and we didn’t know what my in-laws would think. Cause before they had said like, “Oh, that’s too much. We don’t want you guys to do that.” But I just felt like we needed to, we need to pursue it and see what would happen, you know? See, because we had never asked at this point we felt, you know, we asked the year before, even at this point in a year and a half before, but now we were like, okay.  I went back and I talked to my husband and I just told him. I said, “I think we need Emma and James to come and live here.

And he was like, “I know, I know I’ve been feeling it too.” And we, both of us were like, but how can we do it? How is it going to work? You know, we have all these little kids already. How are we going to have enough time? I mean, me as a mom, I just felt, how am I going to have enough time to give my kids the attention they need if I’m also trying to take care of my niece and nephew? How am I going to love my niece and nephew like my own kids? You know, all these things of like this, this, this is not going to work. So, so why am I feeling like I should do this? And ultimately, I also was thinking, this is going to be so hard. And like, this doesn’t seem like, like I felt up to this point and we felt like, you know, we went through that experience with our son, Collin, that was very difficult, but we felt like with our other three kids and we felt so, so blessed and we felt like we’d been given so much in our life and we were so happy and so blessed that we felt like life wasn’t meant to be just super easy. Life isn’t meant to be just so blessed, so happy, so easy without having, you know, hardships and trials. And we, we just felt like this would ultimately bring us happiness, even though it wouldn’t be easy. I told my husband, look, I think we really need to get Emma and James and have them come live with us. We really started praying about it hard to make sure that this was right.  Another time we were sitting in a stake conference meeting and it was the adult session of the meeting and  there was a girl who shared her testimony.

She lived with another family who kind of took her in and she shared her testimony and shared how grateful she was to that family and how blessed she felt. And just in hearing her testimony again, I just felt like we’ve been blessed so much in our life. And my husband and I had a great relationship and we loved our kids and I felt like I was blessed with this love for motherhood, even though it was hard, I felt like, you know, I, I got a degree at BYU and, but I felt like motherhood was my calling. And I felt like I loved being a mom. And I mean, it doesn’t mean that it’s not hard. And there’s days when being a mom is not great and doesn’t sound fun, but I just ultimately knew that this is what I wanted to do.

And, you know, I just felt it so many times that we couldn’t deny it anymore. And so, we, in our minds, we prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed, and we felt like this is what Heavenly Father wanted us to do. And then we were like, okay, well now we’ll, we’ll talk to my in-laws. And then we’ll talk to my brother-in-law and we’ll talk to his ex-wife and we’ll see.

And in our mind, we’re like, well, maybe, you know, maybe it won’t happen because they won’t let it happen. And, you know, then we tried, and we felt like we should.

Darla: [00:22:25] You were just going to follow it. And see what happens. But there were some obstacles here. 

Robyn: [00:22:30] Yes, as we talked to all of them, all of them in tears. I mean, you could, you can see, and you can tell that they, my brother in law and his ex-wife, they have so much love for their kids. They do.  And they recognize that they’re not in a position to care for them. And so ultimately, both of them in tears, thanked us and knew that this was the best for their kids.

They’re still involved in their life and they still see them, on occasion. But. They knew that this is what would ultimately bless their kids. And I think that took a lot.  I think it took a lot of strength for them to be able to do that as well. because I know that they didn’t want to do that necessarily.

Darla: [00:23:13] That takes a lot of humility to hand your kids to someone else to raise. That’s really hard. 

Robyn: [00:23:19] Yeah. 

Darla: [00:23:20] So you get the kids. 

Robyn: [00:23:22] Yes. 

Darla: [00:23:22] What was the transition like? That’s what I’d want to know because you have an almost one year old up to four and then how old were your niece and nephew at this point?

Robyn: [00:23:30] So, by the time we got them, this was a whole process. By the time we got them, my son was five. Then my daughter was three and my baby was one. And then my niece was four and my nephew was two. So, there was five, four, three, two, one. Yeah 

Darla: [00:23:45] One.  Every, every stage five and under that is crazy.

Robyn: [00:23:49] Yeah. 

Darla: [00:23:50] What was the transition like? How did you get through that? 

Robyn: [00:23:54] Yeah, it was a whirlwind, honestly. I look back and like, how did I get through that? I mean, I, it was hard and I, we got them. We actually, the court date was set the day before my birthday. So, they moved in with us the day before my birthday, which then on my birthday, it was like, this is so hard.

 I remember my nephew cause my nephew struggled. He doesn’t have a diagnosis really, but he is significantly developmentally delayed.  And when he came with us, he was two, almost three. He turned three, a couple months later, but he wasn’t speaking at all. He was, he was constantly crying. He was hitting himself all the time. He was hitting my baby all the time and he, yeah, he didn’t communicate at all. So, you never knew what he wanted. He. It was just hard to like, know what to do with him. And I remember that night of my birthday, just sitting in there trying to get him to go to sleep.

He hadn’t had a schedule up into this point. He would go to bed at like midnight, wake up. I don’t know when, you know, it was, he’s struggled with sleep apnea, so he wouldn’t go to sleep. We’ve always had our kids very like routine as far as bedtime in particular, so that we can have a break in the evening.

And it’s my birthday. And I’m sitting there rocking, trying to rock. He’s just screaming. And I’m like, what did we do? This is hard. Wait, why was, how is this going to make me happy? Because right now it just felt, it felt so hard. And. Yeah. In the weeks, months that followed, I mean, it was difficult. My niece would cry and just wonder why she couldn’t move back in with Grandma and Grandpa because she got to see her mom and dad more when she lived with Grandma and Grandpa.

And you know, at first, she was excited to come live with us, you know, move in with cousins. It sounded so fun. And then when reality hit, she’s like, “Wait a minute. This isn’t as fun as I thought it was going to be. And like, why am I having to do this?” And she was sad, and it was hard.  It was honestly, very, very difficult. And I felt like I had moments. I had never felt like I had anxiety before in my life. And I felt like those first few months I was having these anxiety attacks where I felt like I was having a heart attack or something.

I mean, thankfully I can recognize it as anxiety and I was able to, you know, work myself down and be able to take some deep breaths and realize like tomorrow’s a new day, but I had plenty of times going to bed just like stressed because I knew that I was going to wake up and it was going to be a long day and I wasn’t going to get a break and it was going to be hard.

And, honestly, I think the thing that got me through is the hope that it would get easier. And it did. I mean, that was what got me through is I just knew that they would transition. I knew it would be. I mean, I didn’t expect it to be immediate. So, in my mind, like I knew it was going to be hard. I don’t think I anticipated it to be quite as hard as it was, but I knew it was going to be hard.

And I just knew that, it would get better. I knew that with like structure and routine Emma and James would feel the love that we have for them. And they would know that we love them. And I would remind Emma that, you know, she has so many people that love her, that her parents love her, that Grandma and Grandpa love her, and we love her. And, you know, we would just, we would just talk about the love that everyone has for her. And I think, you know, now almost two years later, she’s in a great spot. She feels, she feels secure and I’m sure we’ll have hard years ahead, you know, but she feels secure and she’ll just come up to us randomly and tell us how much she loves us, you know, which is a big step from two years ago.

And my nephew, he’s still tricky at times. He still has some behaviors that we’re working through, but he’s grown so much, and his speech has improved and he’s, you know, he’s grown a lot as well. So, I think that’s just what got me through is knowing that it would get better.

Darla: [00:28:00] Sounds like you were holding onto the hope, 

Robyn: [00:28:02] Yeah.

Darla: [00:28:03] What I really love about your story and what it illustrates that anybody can apply to their life, whether this is your challenge or not, is that when you get a prompting and you follow it, it doesn’t mean that the road or the path is going to be easy. The journey, right? We talked about the journey. But there’s always hope. And there is happiness. On the other side of that, there is. There is joy that can be found, but it’s doesn’t mean that, “Oh, I got a prompting and I’m going to do something and it’s going to be perfect.”

Robyn: [00:28:32] Yeah. 

Darla: [00:28:33] That doesn’t happen. I mean, I guess it could, but most of the time, not. Most of the time, it’s like your story where you get a prompting and you have obstacles to overcome and there’s trials and there’s hard times and you know, difficult things and there’s lots of things that you have to get through to get to that point where you can say, “I’m glad we did this and this is making me happy and I do want to help these kids feel love.” And I really love how your story illustrates that. And it’s something that anyone can apply to their life. So thank you so much for being willing to share your journey and to talk about Collin and the, way that you felt the faith and felt the Savior helping you and teaching you about the atonement through that, and then taking in your niece and nephew and the experiences that you had following those promptings. I have just loved talking to you, but I do have one final question for you, and that is how have you seen and felt your heavenly parents as your partners in motherhood?

Robyn: [00:29:29] Yeah. So, as I’ve thought about this, I mean, I have seen them every day. I think for me, especially, like I mentioned in the beginning and those moments of despair is when I really feel my Heavenly Father and I felt Jesus Christ and I feel my Heavenly Mother lifting me up and it’s the times when things don’t go as smoothly.

And when I’m feeling down and I’m feeling like this is hard and it’s hard to, you know, mother these five kids that are so young and so needy and it’s hard. And it’s in those times when I, when I feel that prompting to, “Oh, yeah, remember when you read your scriptures every day, that’s when you feel happier,” and I’m, and then I think, “Oh, you’re right. I haven’t been reading my scriptures this last week. Yeah. Why don’t I start doing that again?” And I’ll start feeling happier, you know, and I started actually a couple months ago recording just on my phone tender mercies that I, that I see because I had, you know, a moment of despair thinking this is hard.

I feel like I’m doing so much for other people. Why isn’t the Lord and why isn’t, you know, why aren’t people feeling prompted to serve me because this is hard, you know? And why am I, why am I not getting served? I had that thought and that feeling of, you know, feeling down and I got this impression that I need to start recording tender mercies.

And as I started recording tender mercies, I realized, “Oh wait, I am being served in so many ways.” And I just didn’t see it when I didn’t look for it. You know? And I, I feel like when I look for the help  from my heavenly parents, I see it and if I don’t look for it and I don’t, you know, and instead I focused on the things that are, that are hard. And I just think of those and think about how my life is hard and how their life or whoever’s else’s life seems easier. Then I don’t feel as if it’s, it’s what I look for, I think, and I’ve definitely felt a lot of tender mercies in the last little bit. And, you know, particularly the last couple months we’ve had this you know, coronavirus epidemic that’s going on. And you know, my family was super sick actually in the beginning we had five there’s, seven of us and five of us had pneumonia and it was just like, terrible. But in that time, it was just like a week or two after that, or a week or two after I had thought, “Oh, I’m not being served.”

And then we all got pneumonia and like every neighbor and my whole neighborhood was serving us. You know, and I had times when, you know, I felt like before this whole epidemic, I was feeling like I wanted to feel more unity in my family. And then now we’re forced to just spend all this time together and we’ felt so blessed during this whole experience. And I’ve just been able to recognize, you know, James, my nephew, who requires so much attention, has learned to swing and pump himself on the swings. And he just wants to pump all day and doesn’t want me to push him on the swing. And I’m like, great that’s just such a huge tender mercy that you’ll just pump on the swing for an hour. You know, little things like that, that I’ve seen that I have been able to recognize as help from Heavenly Father. Because I, I know that he is helping me and he’s guiding me and he wants me to be happy. And even though my motherhood journey wasn’t and hasn’t been what I planned as a little girl and what I thought I deserved, I know that Heavenly Father has guided me and is guiding me down my path and he wants me to be happy. And I know that he’s there to help me. And then when I look for that, I feel it. 

Darla: [00:33:10] That is so profound. I love it. Just really simple. When you look for it, you see it.

If you want to see God as a partner in your motherhood, just look for it. That’s beautiful. Simple. Such a great message. Thank you so much, Robyn. I have loved getting to know you and talking to you and I’m excited to share this. 

Robyn: [00:33:30] Yeah, thank you. It was fun.

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