SMM 071: How to Parent Fearlessly About the Use of Technology || Emily Jones

Listen to my interview with Emily Jones, the co-founder of Family Tech University, a “drivers ed” workshop for wholesome tech use. Emily is also a Deseret Book author, wife, as well as a mother to 5. In addition, she is a passionate believer in the untapped potential of teenagers.

Parent Fearlessly

Emily and I start off discussing our love of teenagers. We both share why we shouldn’t be afraid of their questioning. Emily talks about how we can be heroic parents through parenting fearlessly instead of fearfully. She shares, “Parenting out of fear brings paralysis. It shuts off the Spirit.”

Emily believes the key to heroic parenting is to have a plan to parent fearlessly. Understanding how to navigate greatly diminishes fear.

Love or Fear?

We both share the benefits of parenting with love instead of fear. Motivating through God’s love creates confidence. Children learn to shine their own light, spread the word of God and lift each other up.

Helping Children Develop an Internal Filter

Emily shares how one statement in an April 2014 General Conference talk shaped her perspective on teaching children about tech. The statement by Sister Linda Reeves helped her see the truth of having an internal filter.

Emily discusses how she has studied kids who choose well with technology and the important truth she uncovered through this exercise.

The Benefits of Children Making Mistakes

“Don’t be afraid of our children’s errors. In fact, I would say to expect them. Think of the example of our Heavenly Father. He expected our errors. … He knew that they would come and he made a way through His son. … I think as parents we can take that same posture that we expect that they will make mistakes.”

She compares how we treat a toddler learning to walk to the way we sometimes treat our children when they make a mistake. Emily gives her belief that we can partner with our children and remove the shame and fear.

Helping Children See Their Potential

Emily shares her thoughts on how parents can help children discover what they want for their own future. She believes parents can nurture the potential and vision in their children.

Emily’s biggest message to mothers is this, “Knock, even pound, on the doors of heaven and ask Him, ‘Show me this child’s potential.'” Emily firmly believes with God’s help mothers can remind children of who they are.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Quote Emily referenced by Sister Linda Reeves: “Filters are useful tools, but the greatest filter in the world, the only one that will ultimately work, is the personal internal filter that comes from a deep and abiding testimony of our Heavenly Father’s love and our Savior’s atoning sacrifice for each one of us.”

View the CBS News video Brain Hacking.

Find out more about having your family participate in Family Tech University.

Get a free video series from Emily and her husband, David, about parenting and tech.

Listen to other episodes about loving children:

Episode 53: How to Use Agency + Love to Point Children to the Savior with Becky Proudfit
Episode 37: How to Create Thoughts to Love Your Children Better with Lisa Funk

Follow Emily

Instagram: @familytechuniversity
Facebook: FamilyTechUniversity
Website: familytechuniversity.com

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Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

SMM 067: How to Navigate Spiritual Differences with Your Spouse || Tim Trendler

In episode 67, I am excited to be interviewing my husband, Tim Trendler. We discuss how we have navigated spiritual differences throughout our 22 year marriage.

You will learn quickly in this episode that Tim is definitely the fun-loving, outgoing partner in our marriage. I am more intense and a deep thinker. We aren’t perfect, but we have learned to help each other develop spiritually and respect our different approaches to gospel living. Looking back, I can see how our differences actually make us a great team.

In the episode, Tim and I both share the spiritual promptings we experienced that led us to marriage. You’ll even find out why Tim didn’t talk to me for 3 weeks after we got engaged!

We also talk about our two very different perspectives on teaching a lesson at church and why both approaches work.

Tim discusses the positive side of having differences. He shares how our children have benefited by seeing two different approaches to spirituality.

In addition, Tim gives his take on the best thing you can do when you differ with your spouse spiritually.

Tim offers his answer to the final question I ask every guest and shares his perspective on how God has been his partner in fatherhood.

I will admit it was harder than I thought to interview my spouse. My goal was for this episode to be more of a conversation than an interview, which means we got off track a few times and I had to do a lot of editing. In the spirit of “keepin’ it real” I left a couple outtakes that you’ll hear if you listen to the end.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Listen to other Spiritually Minded Mom episodes about spiritual differences:

SMM 065: Hope When You Don’t Live in a Perfect Family Proclamation Home|| Norma Zaugg
SMM 063: How to Embrace Agency + Increase Love as a Mother || Shelley Swapp
SMM 062: How to Show Unconditional Love When Loved Ones Don’t Share Your Faith
SMM 018: Divorce + Blending Families + Coming Back to God in Motherhood || Tarrin Pendergrass

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes


SMM 065: Hope When You Don’t Live in a Perfect Family Proclamation Home|| Norma Zaugg

Within 2 years of her 19 year marriage, my guest for episode 65, Norma Zaugg, realized her hopes and dreams for her home and family were not going according to plan. Her marriage was rocky and her husband stopped being involved with the Church. Norma was left wondering how to navigate it all.

Guidance from God

In my interview with Norma, she shares how she didn’t take the thought of bringing children into her dysfunctional marriage lightly. Through heartfelt prayer, she felt guided to know the timing and how to teach her children.

She shares about the promise God made to her early on and how it was fulfilled as each of her boys have been baptized. She knows God is aware of her efforts and that He will keep His promises to her.

Hope if You Don’t Feel Your Home is Perfect

Norma’s story offers hope to anyone who feels they don’t live in the perfect “family proclamation” home. Both Norma and I discuss how there isn’t a model or one way to be a righteous, Latter-day Saint mother. We can each figure out what it means for us as individuals.

Her own experiences with a spouse who was not supportive spiritually taught Norma to teach the Gospel to her children through small, everyday moments. She has literally whispered gospel truths in her children’s ears and helped them identify the Holy Ghost.

Helping Others in Difficult Marriages

How can you help someone you know who is in a hard marriage? Norma’s advice is simple–Don’t make assumptions. Ask questions. Follow the spirit.

After her divorce, self care was the first step Norma took to start to heal. She shared, “In order for me to be able to help my boys, I have to be on top of my game. And if I’m not taking care of myself, I can’t be patient. I can’t be loving. I can’t do homework for hours on end unless I have taken care of me.” Norma says to start small and slowly add in things to do just for you.

God is There Even in the Dark Times

Overall, Norma’s story will remind you that change can happen for each of us. Starting fresh and doing something different is hard, but you will look back and be able to see God everywhere, even in dark times.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Quotes from Norma:

“I knew that if my boys were ever going to see something different, it would have to be because I put forth the effort.”

“It’s fascinating that sometimes we almost have to be removed from [the situation] before we can fully see how He intricately was there the entire time planning and helping and putting the pieces together in a much more marvelous way than we could have ever imagined and the gifts He would give through those horrible hardships.”

“If you are feeling lost and you’re feeling empty and you’re feeling hopeless, there is absolutely a way out but it is not magic and there is no quick solution. It is a lot of work and it is a lot of internal work.”

Download Norma’s free guide “Living with a Spouse that No Longer Believes in the Church

Listen to other Spiritually Minded Mom episodes about family members who leave the Church

Episode 063: How to Embrace Agency + Increase Love as a Mother || Shelley Swapp
Episode 062: How to Show Unconditional Love When Loved Ones Don’t Share Your Faith

Follow Norma

Instagram: @normazaugg
Instagram: @sparkpodcast
Website: normazaugg.com
Podcast: SPARK – the light within

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
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Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes


SMM 063: How to Embrace Agency + Increase Love as a Mother || Shelley Swapp

Welcome to the final episode of season 2. I am taking a short break from the podcast and will be back in September with more faith-filled interviews for you.

In episode 63, my guest is Shelley Swapp. Shelley shares what she hopes her children will remember about her as a mom.

Motherhood Challenges

She also gives insights into the challenges her family has faced in the past few years. As a mother, she has watched her children deal with moving, brain injury, physical special needs, mental health challenges and faith crisis.

No Checklist to Perfect Kids

Shelley shares how she always believed there was a “checklist” of things to do as a mom. If she could just check all of the things on the list off, like family home evening, scripture study, attending church and the temple, etc., all of our children would turn out exactly as she planned. But Shelley shares how she has learned that’s not what the Gospel is about. She gives her insights on agency, something we fought valiantly for before we came to earth.

Instead of a “checklist,” Shelley discusses how “The true test of motherhood is who I become and the true test of fatherhood is who my husband becomes and not who my children become.”

She openly admits she and her husband weren’t perfect parents but can honestly say they have always loved their children.

Preserving Relationships

Shelley shares how she has persevered her relationship with her children, especially as some have chosen to leave the church. She shares how realizing our Heavenly Parents don’t sit in heaven wringing their hands has helped her to avoid worrying as well. She knows her children are on their own journey and it’s not about her.

The Power of Scripture

Both the Book of Mormon and the Bible have been huge helps to Shelley in her life as a mother. She describes the Book of Mormon as an entire book about families who were fighting valiantly to keep their children in the Gospel. She attributes the stories of Jesus found in the Bible to helping her get to a place where she can love and accept her children where they are.

Her Son’s Perspective

In preparation for the interview, Shelley spoke with her son who has recently experienced a faith crisis. She shares the advice he would gives to family members who are struggling to understand why someone would leave.

Why Heaven is Close

Ultimately, Shelley shares her testimony that heaven is so close. We can recognize tender mercies and angels here on earth. She acknowledges God’s hand in her life and knows He is helping her and her children.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Light the Fight Podcast with Heidi Swapp and David Kozlowski.

Talk by Elder Robert D. Hales, With all the Feeling of a Tender Parent, April 2004 General Conference

Talk by President Henry B. Eyring, A Home Where the Spirit of the Lord Dwells, April 2019 General Conference

This is the quote by President Eyring Shelley referenced in the interview from the talk above.

“Some have tried with full heart for that blessing, yet it has not been granted. My promise to you is one that a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles once made to me. I had said to him that because of choices some in our extended family had made, I doubted that we could be together in the world to come. He said, as well as I can remember, ‘You are worrying about the wrong problem. You just live worthy of the celestial kingdom, and the family arrangements will be more wonderful than you can imagine.'”

Listen to Shelley’s daughter share her story on episode 6 of the podcast, Still Tripin’

Read more about Shelley’s motherhood journey in an article she wrote on the Awaiting Rainbows website.

Listen to a previous episode with similar stories: Episode 62, How to Show Unconditional Love When Loved Ones Don’t Share Your Faith

Follow Shelley

Instagram: @shelleyswapp
Facebook: shelleyswappsvintageherbals
Website: shelleyswapp.com

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Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes

SMM 062: How to Show Unconditional Love When Loved Ones Don’t Share Your Faith

Episode 62 shares the perspectives of 6 different people who have experience with a loved one who doesn’t share their faith. I am so grateful for each of these people who called in to share their thoughts and perspectives on a topic that isn’t always easy to talk about.

In addition to hearing from members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who have had families members who have struggled with their faith, you will also hear the perspective of someone who left the church. She shares her advice for loving unconditionally and preserving the relationship no matter what someone else believes.

All the people who called in shared the overarching message that unconditional love, love like the Savior shared, is the most important thing we can give.

If you are someone who struggles with similar situations I hope you this episode will show you that you are not alone. I also hope you will listen to each of these perspectives and gain what you need from their words.

I am so grateful to the women who called in and were willing to be featured on this episode. Sharing our stories binds us together. I learned so much from each of them.

How to Listen

Listen to the podcast below or on iTunesSpotifyGoogle PlayStitcher or Sound Cloud.  If you like the show, please subscribe and leave a review.

Show Notes

Read or listen to the entire talk by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf from October 2013 General Conference, Come, Join with Us.

Full quote by Gretchen Rubin: “It’s a Secret of Adulthood: I can’t make people change, but when I change, others may change; and when others change, I may change.”

John 11 – Story of Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead

Follow Spiritually Minded Mom

Blog: spirituallymindedmom.com
Instagram: @spirituallymindedmom
Facebook: spirituallymindedmom
Podcast: Spiritually Minded Mom on iTunes